Such noises!

We have received records. We also have received digital albums.. Though they are not in the traditional cd but in business card form. I have also begun to have the ability to absorb funds from peoples credit cards. So now we can virtually transact, and hope for the best. You can supposedly give me some money and I can supposedly give you some music. Welcome to the future. Lately at gigs I have been using the phrase, “this format is far superior” when referring to LPs. And it is! Though some of you don’t have turntables, or you are camping and or riding a bike across the country and don’t want to be carrying an LP obviously. I guess this is for you. Not only can you listen to this business card, but it won’t end up in the gyre. You can recycle it. Eat it. Shove it up yr arse for all I care. Ram it up yr pod.. Enjoy. The record won’t come with this business card. To much of yr dismay, I am separating the two. And for good reason! Well first off obviously CDs are retarded. So we didnt make them. They are glorified hard drives that install music onto computers and end up in the trash… They are trash. Collectively the music industry yet again has conjured up some more trash. Luckily in light of giant oceanic garbage patches, word is getting out about LPs. They are cooler to look at. They sound better. They are harder to throw away…And they can look beautiful. You know if you were smart you could figure out a way to record the vinyl onto yr computer… That would really be the top, right.? Walking down the street. Driving in yr car. Always hearing that awesome surface movement. The bits of dust. The occasional pops. And here’s the kicker. You will get to listen to the record in its entirety when you record it to yr computer! I think it’s a win win situation. For those of you who don’t give a fuck about LPs, we got something you will like too. Business cards. You shove them into yr Internet hole and voila.. Instant pod child. You can listen to it on shuffle. Or if you are bold, you can listen to the whole thing! But the choice is yours. For those of you who dig LPs but are too damn lazy to figure out a good way to copy the thing, sorry. I have no sympathy. You can buy this beautiful LP. have i told you how beautiful these things are??? and then you can buy this lame business card. Cuz you mean business. We all must remember that the point of making this stuff is so that you listen to it…

  • 25 September 2012